Presented by BetterHelp
We don’t always need to act on the emotions that we feel. In fact, sometimes, things said or done in the heat of an emotional flare-up can damage our lives in big ways. It is a sometimes scary reality of life.
Fortunately, there are ways to control and channel your emotions that are healthy for both you and your loved ones.
Table of Contents
1. Build A Quiet, Safe Place Inside Your Mind
What is a comforting environment for you? Is it a slightly rainy countryside cabin with a rolling bonfire? Or maybe it’s just playing with your favorite pet, or an adorable baby animal. Maybe the happiest you’ve ever been was sitting by the beach or near a pool with some sweet, cool juice in hand, soaking in the sun.
Try to combine a series of happy scenarios, locations, and maybe even a cast of characters. Then, put yourself in that scenario. This is a form of meditation, so it can be hard to focus at first, but with practice, you can learn how to go to this place at a moment’s notice.
Think of a few key factors:
- Where is this place? What is the backdrop like?
- Who is there with me? Am I alone? Are there any animals? Maybe you are with someone who offers you unconditional love like a grandparent or pet.
- What does it smell like? Is there a bonfire, the smell of rain, or a relaxing smell of fruit?
- Are you eating or drinking anything?
- Can you hear anything?
By answering all these questions, you can start to create a quiet place inside your mind where you can go when things get rocky.
2. Seek Out Therapy
There are many types of creative therapy that can help you get out of negative thought cycles and into more beneficial habits. For example, one type of therapy called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy uses very direct communication to help you understand and manage your own emotions. So, if your major goal around therapy is learning about your own emotions and how you process them, then Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy could be a good fit. Here is a resource from BetterHelp Online Therapy that can explain more.
3. Use Essential Oils
Calming smells like lilac and peppermint can help you manage the way you feel. You can even invest in a pretty diffuser to leave on your desk at work and keep you soothed throughout the day,
4. Limit Addictions Or Substances
Sometimes if we are addicted to something, even if it isn’t a substance, like a social media addiction, can make us feel like we have less control over our lives, actions, and, yes, our emotions. Plus, the things we consume, even perfectly legal things like caffeine, can affect the way we perceive and respond to our surroundings. By limiting those things, we might be able to get more of a handle on those big emotions that can sometimes control us even more than we can control them.
5. Separate Yourself From Your Emotions
Your digestive system is a filter. You put in foods, then your body filters out the harmful or useless things and holds onto the things that are healthy and nutritious and uses them to nourish your body. We understand that is how our digestive system works, but we don’t always see our mind in the same way.
You see, your brain is also a filter. Many messages, ideas, images, and signals come into your brain every day. Then, it is your choice to filter out those stimuli and hold onto the thoughts and ideas that serve you, and let go of the thoughts and ideas that are unhealthy.
Following the digestive system metaphor, you could give your brain “healthy” things to consume by seeking out great books, wonderful art, music, and films, fascinating conversations with friends, and time spent outside in nature. “Junk food” for the brain could be hours of social media scrolling, gossip, commercials and advertisements, or any other content that might not have been created in your best interest.
All of this is to say: you are not your emotions. You are not even your thoughts. You are simply the filter. So if there are emotions that are bothering you and causing you distress, filter them out and let them float away. These negative feelings do not represent you.
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