Having strong relationships with other people is something that’s very close to most of our hearts. So with that in mind, it’s important to know what other people think of you. After all, each of us has our own image of ourselves as an individual, but that viewpoint may be very different to the way that we appear to other people!
To build the best, most positive relationships with other people, the key is to find out whether others feel able to connect well with you. You need to find out more about yourself and how the people you encounter on a daily basis are likely to get on with you.
Table of Contents
Be Upfront
Asking other people directly is surely the best way to find out whether other people actually like you or not. But bear in mind that you may not always get a truthful response…
That’s because many people avoid saying unflattering things to others, especially if it’s on a face-to-face basis. And even more so if they’re friends or colleagues. So it’s important that you stress how you’re seeking an honest reply and you genuinely want feedback so you can make changes, if you need to. It would also be nice to find out what you may be doing well, too!
Take A Likeability Test
Perhaps the best way to find out what other people think of you, without having to put yourself or others around you in a potentially awkward or confrontational situation, is to do an online likeability test.
There are lots out there, so make sure you don’t pay for it. And it doesn’t need to be complex, either! It’s a useful way to get the information you need about what’s important in getting other people to like you. Just being “nice” won’t cut it! And if you try too hard, it will likely backfire on you… This will give you a good idea of where you stand, and enable you to go into future relationships from a well-informed perspective.
Pay Attention To Body Language
Even if people tell you to your face that they think you’re doing the right things, don’t always assume they’re being truthful. So one way to determine whether they like you or not is to pay attention to their body language when they interact with you.
For example, do they adopt defensive poses when they’re with you? Maybe they fold their arms, cross their legs, or even hold their hand to their face. Do they lean backwards as if you’re invading their space? Or are they actually showing positive signs that they’re enjoying your company? Examples are leaning forward towards you as you speak, or even unconsciously mimicking your gestures.
Don’t get too obsessed by this: they may have their arms folded because that’s how they always are. Or maybe the room is a bit cold. So maybe look at their eyes (not too closely…) for reinforcement of what you’ve noticed.
Listen To Their Tone Of Voice
It isn’t always what people say, but the way they say it, that counts when you’re trying to work out whether they like you or not. Listen carefully to the tone of their voice when they’re talking to you.
Do they speak abruptly, as if they want the conversation to end? Do they interrupt (or even ignore) you? Do they have an aggressive or defensive tone? Do they sound bored … sarcastic … derisive, even? You can figure out a lot from simply looking beyond the words.
Ask For Specifics
It’s sometimes easier for someone to give you frank feedback about your personality if you give them clear parameters to work to. Simply asking someone if they like you or not is, frankly so vague as to be counterproductive. It can also be pretty embarrassing for many people, especially if they don’t know you too well. However, asking for feedback about specifics – like how they think you presented yourself in a particular situation – can take the pressure right off and make everyone feel more comfortable.
Focusing on the future is a useful follow-on from this. Asking someone whether you should act differently in the future and, if so, what changes you could make, will help them to speak the truth – and give you something positive to work towards.
Wrap Up
Knowing whether you’re likeable may appear to be an impossible mountain to climb. But as you can see, there are ways to make it a whole lot simpler. And once you’ve decided what you’re going to do, and how to do it, you’re on the way to a smoother, more productive and happier life!