Believe it or not, the headline is no exaggeration. It’s no lie. It’s not fake news. This isn’t a story about a boy who purchased a fake high school and college diploma along with a couple fake transcripts to go with them. He actually earned his degrees and did so far more rapidly than the average teenager and/or young adult could be capable of.
A recent article claims that Mike Shimmer who hails from Salsbury, South Carolina, who is just 12 years of age, has already earned his high school diploma, plus his bachelor’s and master’s degrees. If you don’t believe it, you can check his transcripts. He has also retired from a job at Bethlehem Steel and moved into an assisted living facility—the Salisbury Senior Center.
As he put on a pair of pajamas he’s vowed never to remove, he said flatly, “I’m done.” Witnesses close to the boy genius attest he left his home carrying just a small suitcase of meager belongings and walked to the assisted living center which is located less than a block from the house he was raised in.
Growing Up Fast
Growing up fast is quite the understatement when it comes to Mike Shimmer. Says his mother, he did indeed grow up far more rapidly than other kids his own age. He was able to blaze through all his classes. He also managed to acquire a smelting job at the local steel plant. When they offered him an early retirement, at 12 years old, he jumped on it.
Still don’t believe the story? People close to him claim Mike was able to achieve in a few short years what takes seemingly normal people decades to accomplish simply because he’s an amazing young person. A genius. A gifted, and even miraculous individual.
Love of School
Unlike a lot of youngsters, Mike loved school. He found it extremely interesting. He also discovered that he had a love of smelting. But now, despite all his accomplishments at such an early age, he claims he would rather be wearing his pajamas and slippers, and playing shuffleboard alongside the seniors he now lives with.
Mike’s super early retirement is said to come as a big surprise to his high school teachers and his college professors. His high school physics teacher said he assumed Mike would grow up to be a CEO of a major corporation or a rich and famous engineer. He could have easily attained his doctorate by the time he was 15, if not earlier.
“It’s kind of disappointing,” the teacher lamented. However, he also is said to understand Mike’s wishes. After all, Mike was the kind of kid who enjoyed the cafeteria style food that was always available at the high school.
Many of the same food items are said to be available on the Salisbury Senior Center’s daily menu. These include sloppy joes, tater tots, pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, jello, and other foods both children and seniors seem to enjoy.
Mike Shimmer’s Relationship with the Seniors
According to Shimmer, lots of people believe old people have a funny smell. But to him “they smell sweet.” He says he wants to be a part of them and their lives. He wants to relax with them and enjoy his “golden years” of which he will have many. He wants to start the golden years early since he feels it’s futile to wait until he’s old, decrepit and far too achy to engage in shuffleboard matches or have intimate relationships with “the grandmas.”
Rumors have also been spreading that the young Shimmer has struck up a sort of romance with an 87 year old woman named Shirley. While Shimmer claims they are just friends, Shirley is quick to point out that they are friends with “benefits.”
Shimmer warns his friend and would-be lover that if she doesn’t keep quiet, she could be put in prison over such a controversy. But Shirley responds by saying she is already living in a sort of prison since the staff will not allow her to drive. This is due to her being legally blind, Shimmer informs.
Shimmer is Completely Normal
It wouldn’t be unusual for most people to assume that a genius like Mike Shimmer is a strange, unapproachable person. But those who know him best swear he’s a normal kid who loves nothing more than to play with his Hot Wheels set up inside his senior center room. It just so happens he would pass by the building while walking to school on a daily basis and early on decided he would spend the bulk of his life there.
But why doesn’t such a gifted young person have more ambition?
There’s simply zero point in achieving anything, Shimmer claims. When you are as intelligent as he is, the struggle of human existence becomes “one hundred present pointless.” In fact, he goes on to say that he believes life on planet earth is nothing more than “a fluke accident.”
Shimmer should know. He’s a genius who’s lived a full live prior to his twelfth birthday. Believe it or not.
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