Back 9 Dips

Back 9 Dips

Rich Dad’s Chicken Diet Comes Back

The “Back 9 Dips” series continues with another installment of its popular “ilet seat” series. This time, it’s Michael Jordan doing the “Dips.” An unemployed college graduate and his unemployed girlfriend pitch an ill-fated chicken dish; a professional sports player’s unpaid laundry list; an amateur technophobe introduces his new wireless gadget to the room. After nine minutes, the man who barely makes enough money to cover his mortgage calls it a night for “9 Dips.”

Back 9 Dips

The only person in the “Back 9 Dips” party who does not make enough money to cover his mortgage is the man who serves as the catering company’s general contractor. The catering company’s owner is a little rich, so he’s sure to throw in some bonuses. The man with the chicken dish and the woman who serve it to the guests aren’t so lucky. They both manage to survive the ordeal. One of them even manages to get a refund at the end of the night. It is the season of all things “Christmas,” and the owners of the two companies somehow both get to have a Christmas dinner while avoiding the expenses of last years’ “Back 9 Dips.

The restaurant that employs both of them makes “Back 9 Dips” their theme: Two guys get in their cars, drive to the local Drive-In (a chain of increasingly inferior fast food restaurants), order a bucket of chips (the same chips that mom used to eat), and have the food delivered to them. Of course, neither of them has ever eaten at a Drive-In before, so they both manage to order the same chips, which are beneath cooked. Their waitress complains to the owner, who tells her he doesn’t mind if she brings him some chips; he’ll throw them in the trash later.

When the owner finds out that the guy and the gal had gotten together and got drunk, he goes to his warehouse to get his money from the cash register. As he’s looking for a cigarette, Robert said, “The only thing your mother and I can do is get you a back nine dips instead of a new car.” Robert said that back nine dips “isn’t even a meal, it’s like a little blowout.

Robert’s place

A new employee, Sarah, comes over to Robert’s place after lunch. She’s starving because she ran out of chicken back drops and she’d just come from working all week on a different job. After waiting around for fifteen minutes, she finds Robert already there. She asks where the chicken goes and Robert tells her that they go to a Chinese restaurant down the street.

“This Chinese restaurant isn’t a Chinese restaurant,” she says. “They just serve chicken Slurpees.” After hearing this, Robert goes and buys a bucket and a ladle and they both head to the Chinese restaurant. The bucketful of chicken is still in the bucket, but now they have a new mission: To try and get the girl in line to get the chicken Slurpee.

After getting the bucket, Robert asks Sarah to stand next to him and he wraps the chicken in paper towels so that no one will see what he’s got underneath. Then, he goes up to the counter and asks for a back nine. Instead of saying “back nine,” however, he asks for “chicken salad.” The girl thinks that he’s trying to get her to order something else, so he leaves her a long spoon and asks for some. Sarah, who’s now trying not to look at the fork he was using to put the salad in, takes the spoon and puts it to the side as if she doesn’t care that it’s not chicken but lettuce.

Chicken Slurpee

Fifteen minutes later, Sarah gets the chicken Slurpee. She takes a bite and starts to feel guilty about the delicious chicken she’s been missing out on, so she runs to the trash can and throws it in. As she walks away, however, the chicken Slurpee comes back to her. The waiter comes back with two more containers of chicken salad and asks her if she’d like a back nine. She grins as she turns around to face him, revealing the pink slip that describes her position at this very moment: The Rich Dad’s Chicken Diet Rich Dad’s Chicken Slurpee Comes Back.


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Back 9 Dips

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